This was Benjamin's baseball team last year. I have to admit, it truly was a great experience. And yet, I resented it. This year, both Benjamin and Ripley are playing baseball (well, Ripley is playing T-Ball). So, between the two boys we are racing back and forth to the fields three to four times a week.
Confession: I hate it. I am resenting packing up that many times a week for a 5:45 game (we are supposed to be there 20 minutes early for Benjamin's games, and it's a 15 minute drive to the fields). I resent not being able to sit down to a pleasant leisurely quality dinner together as a family to eat and chat (I just can't bring myself to feed my kids chicken nuggets, boxed mac 'n cheese, cereal or worse - fast food chains 3 nights a week like many have to resort to). I resent that 4:45 is too early for dinner (plus, Victor isn't home yet) and 7:45 is too late! I resent washing uniforms several times a week. I resent sitting there in the freezing cold and rain to watch the games. I resent that I have to 'burn up' four hours of precious time on baseball nights just sitting there.
I am sorry. I know there are some aspects of baseball that are wonderful. Learning to play together with team mates, learning to think of others and 'the good of the team', getting outside and exercising. But three nights a week (and most Saturdays) for three months is a big commitment and I'm just not sold. Is this all really necessary at this age?
So yesterday while getting all of my ducks in a row to make the nightly trip to the field I lost my patience with my boys. I left them 15 minutes to get dressed and get their bags in the car (which they are perfectly capable of doing) while I finished prepping dinner and taking off my garden clothes. They were getting side-tracked, chatting and then arguing. We decided that next time I should leave 30 minutes for them to get ready. But really, the stress and strain comes from my resentment of the entire event. Help me out . . . am I just a bad mother? Am I just selfish? How can I be at peace?!
The moral of the story: Surrender. Leave more time. Get organized. Have snacks ready for when Benjamin gets off the bus at 4:00. Start making dinner and getting organized at 3:30 and keep it simple. Get the boys started on dressing etc. at 4:40. Get in the car at 5:10. Get a lobotomy. Do you think people would snicker if I brought my laundry to fold while I sit there?
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5 comments:
Funny I have been thinking the same thing about AJ's soccer games lately. He loves it but it's Sundays right after church and then we come home to have lunch, put Eliana down for her nap and then prepare family dinner! It's all very rushed and Sunday is supposed to be relaxing! I do enjoy watching him though and there are only 3 games left for the season so we'll just hang in there!
Ok, I'm going to go out on a limb here. If baseball is stressful to you, the boys will pick up on some of that (the tension, the running around, etc.) Instead of fitting the family to the sports, fit the sport to the family. Is there something else they're interested in that doesn't take three nights a week? I don't want to seem like I'm nit picky, but given how lovely your boys are and how much you value the time together, why are you stressing yourself out?
Because my boys LOOOOVVE it. It's a big ... no HUGE community event. A very large percentage of the town participates so the kids not only love the baseball aspect, but they get to see their friends. It's a very big deal in Rehoboth.
I really should have had a household of girls who like to garden, cook and craft. But maybe God knew I couldn't handle their emotional whirlwinds and gave me boys. So now I have to practice patience, understanding, organization, realistic expectations and submit. Dang, why am I always learning?
We did sandwiches last night (ok, paninis) and everything went much more smoothly. I did freeze my butt off at the field though. 54 degrees, misting and windy. I was wearing my full length down coat and Uggs. It's not about me. It's not about me. It's not about me. :)
So did you read the purpose Driven Life? I laugh because it says life is not about me, but I read it ... if it is not about you than it has to be about me .. yes, I am kidding, but that would make life so much easier at times.
I am a bad Mom, and signed the boys up for T-Ball and decided I didn't want to to, so we quit before the first game. I really don't understand why driving to and fro is so exhausting, but it is. I can guarantee you I would not be sitting in the drizzle with 54 degree!!! This makes you a great Mom.
Sandy, If U had a houseful of girls it doesn't mean they'd be into all things Suzy homemaker- they could be tomboys & into the sports as well. :)
On nights that I know it's going to be tight getting dinner done @ a reasonable hour I try to plan simple stuff or stuff that can be done ahead of time & reheated. I totally understand U not wanting to feed the boys "garbage" meals, but once in awhile is okay. If U are making homemade pizzas, freeze some & use those on tough nights. Pizza is my favorite phone it in quick meal. Or if Victor can cook & doesn't meet you at the ball fields, maybe he could make dinner on those nights. -just a thought.
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