This was Benjamin's baseball team last year. I have to admit, it truly was a great experience. And yet, I resented it. This year, both Benjamin and Ripley are playing baseball (well, Ripley is playing T-Ball). So, between the two boys we are racing back and forth to the fields three to four times a week.
Confession: I hate it. I am resenting packing up that many times a week for a 5:45 game (we are supposed to be there 20 minutes early for Benjamin's games, and it's a 15 minute drive to the fields). I resent not being able to sit down to a pleasant leisurely quality dinner together as a family to eat and chat (I just can't bring myself to feed my kids chicken nuggets, boxed mac 'n cheese, cereal or worse - fast food chains 3 nights a week like many have to resort to). I resent that 4:45 is too early for dinner (plus, Victor isn't home yet) and 7:45 is too late! I resent washing uniforms several times a week. I resent sitting there in the freezing cold and rain to watch the games. I resent that I have to 'burn up' four hours of precious time on baseball nights just sitting there.
I am sorry. I know there are some aspects of baseball that are wonderful. Learning to play together with team mates, learning to think of others and 'the good of the team', getting outside and exercising. But three nights a week (and most Saturdays) for three months is a big commitment and I'm just not sold. Is this all really necessary at this age?
So yesterday while getting all of my ducks in a row to make the nightly trip to the field I lost my patience with my boys. I left them 15 minutes to get dressed and get their bags in the car (which they are perfectly capable of doing) while I finished prepping dinner and taking off my garden clothes. They were getting side-tracked, chatting and then arguing. We decided that next time I should leave 30 minutes for them to get ready. But really, the stress and strain comes from my resentment of the entire event. Help me out . . . am I just a bad mother? Am I just selfish? How can I be at peace?!
The moral of the story: Surrender. Leave more time. Get organized. Have snacks ready for when Benjamin gets off the bus at 4:00. Start making dinner and getting organized at 3:30 and keep it simple. Get the boys started on dressing etc. at 4:40. Get in the car at 5:10. Get a lobotomy. Do you think people would snicker if I brought my laundry to fold while I sit there?