Friday, January 9, 2009


That's P.A.L.S. Pam, Amy, Linda and Sandy. We should have sat in order, but we didn't. What can I say, it was the end of the night! From left to right: Linda, Amy, Sandy and Pam.

Sitting here on this couch is an incredible group of ladies and a testimony to what God can do. You see, about 9 years ago, all four of us were in the middle of the ugly awful thing called divorce. Our spouses had been unfaithful, battled all kinds of addictions, and were abusive physically, verbally or emotionally. We banded together through the most difficult time in our lives, praying for each other, listening to each other, building each other up, and supporting each other -- like in the Old Testament when Moses arms were tired and Aaron and Hur held his arms up, we held each other up through the valleys. Every Friday night we would all gather at my house -- the deal was, I would cook for them and they would clean up after me. (A cooks dream come true!) We were bound together like only God and trials can bind.
Now, 9 years later, we have all been through counseling, dealt with our past and with God's help come out whole. Three out of four of us are remarried to wonderful, supportive, kind hearted, faithful men. And Amy, who was a little hesitant to embark again into this sometimes scary and uncertain journey called marriage, is finally open to the idea. And after being with all of us and our wonderful men on Thursday night is even embracing the possibility! God is Good.
Now we are dispersed over Missouri, Massachusetts, Northern Rhode Island and Southern Rhode Island, so we are rarely all together in one place. Joy! From left to right: Victor, Pam's children Aimee, Allegra, Zackery; Amy, Benjamin, Ken, Linda, Pam, Kevin ... and the back of Ripley's head.

We ate Vegetarian Chili (recipe forthcoming) and Chicken Soup, with Strawberry Spinach Salad, Gorgeous Bread and rich conversation. It was such a joy to see you all!

A quick word about divorce. If any of you are considering divorce, let me be sure and tell you that it is a horrible thing. There is a reason that "God hates Divorce", it's because it rips apart everyone in it's path. All four of us would say that it's something to avoid at all costs. We did our best to be guided by God and to honor Him with our behavior and choices throughout our whole ordeal. In a word, if you are considering divorce -- don't. There are few situations that merit embarking on such an awful trail. It is a lot less painful to work it out, compromise and love the unlovable. Pray, and be guided by God. Divorce is not an easy solution to marital problems.

If you have already experienced divorce, know that God can see you through, heal your wounds and bring you to a place of peace and joy, with a lot of work and commitment on your part. Make sure to pray through it, get support and surround yourself with real friends (who don't just tell you what you want to hear, and show up when you need them). Start your own Friday Night Dinner Club.


geisme said...

Sandy, what an awesome testimony. -A part I've never heard before. :) And I think I heard a reference to Pastor Dennis' sermon from this last Sunday. As a child of divorce, I only know the pain from that side, but I don't think I'd want to know the other side.
As far as the sourdough starter- can you bring me a clean canning jar- small size- like maybe a pint-ish & I'll be happy to give you some, as well as some recipes. :) -all my mom's. I don't do much with my sourdough, as Bill likes bread with a soft crust. Not sure if we'll be at church tomorrow or not due to weather, but...... when you can.
Hugs, -Gail

Kristi said...

What a beautiful story. He gives beauty for ashes. I agree with you wholeheartedly on the destructiveness of divorce.